What drive us to be social? Why do I want others to know what I am thinking and doing? Why do I want to know what others are thinking and doing? Of course there are some introverts out there that are the exception, but then again they probably don't read my blog because they don't care about what I'm thinking.
Although I have no idea if my assumptions are ever correct, I like to think I am pretty good at reading between the lines. I enjoy reading tweets and status updates for face value, but even more fascinating to try and read between the lines. I know that my status updates and tweets often have subliminal meanings, whether anyone can decipher them or not. Some more obvious than others. And there are also things throw out as bait, hoping that someone will bite and give them some attention. I am not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, but sometimes it makes me groan or mumble "nope, not gonna do it" to myself.
3 ways I view status updates/ tweets
-Face value: It is what it is
-Subliminal Message: Read between the lines, maybe more about what is not said that actually written. And I would suggest they really do want someone to know what they are really thinking.
-Baited Hook: Fishing a response, for attention
Here are some examples...and I admit I am guilty of all three kinds. : ]
The Baited Hook
Actual Post: "Sigh"
Translation: "this sucks" or "I'm tired" or maybe disapproval of some thing or someone.
Potential desired response: "Please ask me why?" Or "Please give me some attention" or (again, that is not always a bad thing, but I think fb or twitter is probably the wrong venue to look for it/ receive it."
Sidenote: Why do you feel the need to tell me you are tired? And why do I feel the need to tell you I'm tired? Well, keep reading and I will summarize all of this in the bigger picture in a couple paragraphs.
Face Value
Actual Post: "At Urban Coffee lounge...good coffee, good friends and good conversation"
Translation: "At Urban Coffee lounge...good coffee, good friends and good conversation"
Potential desired response: Maybe approval or just letting people know that Urban is a cool place to hang out. Nothing mysterious about it.
Face Value(but indirect)
Actual Post: "tomorrow" is not spelled "tommaro"! Really? How are you in high school right now? (This is one I posted recently)
Translation: I am straight up criticizing you right now, but not to your face. Although you may read this at some point and feel dumb.
Potential desired response: Sympathy with my irritation for someone's incompetency, to make myself look better/ someone think I'm funny, or plainly stated SLANDER.
Subliminal Message
Actual Post: "...cause you're amazing, just the way you are"
Translation: There's this girl I have a crush on, but have yet to tell her how I feel, but too risky to actually tell her. She might reject me.
Potential desired response: Maybe she will read between the lines and figure out I like her and then I won't have to risk putting myself out there...like actually telling her face to face. Or just hoping girls in general will think I'm a nice guy, or comment "aww that's cute" and that's almost like her saying "you're cute"
Sidenote: To all you ladies out there, every single guy you puts himself out there is better off by you clearly saying "no, I do not feel the same way" than you feeling like that is mean and not wanting to hurt his feelings and then avoiding him. Or maybe ignoring the subject or just not saying anything at all. Us the word "no" somewhere in your response and be honest. I can tell you from experience, I appreciate the young lady that told it to me straight; it's discouraging at first, but really healthy for me. If he is willing to be honest with you about his feelings, you need to be willing to do the same by being clear and honest with him.
Alright to summarize this all up. Why do we have a drive to be social, and where does it come from? I believe even the most introverted person has a desire to be known. For myself, I know it comes pretty easily to let a lot of people know a lot about me. I'm an extrovert. And some of my introverted friend's have explained they too want to share who they are with another person, but maybe just one or two other people. And I believe we seek love and acceptance. God has created us this way, and I really enjoy reading the Bible and seeing the language God uses to describe His love and acceptance of us. It's a beautiful fit how he places in me the desire for love and acceptance and then gives me those things. He graciously gives us all things.
If you know anything about me, you are aware of my "huggy" nature. The more hugs the better in my opinion, because I believe in the power of touch. The power of holding a baby. The power of giving and receiving a hug in the midst of a rough day or week or month or year. The power of a hug between friends and family who have been apart for a long period of time. I believe our words have the same power in hearing to give a hug to the soul. And of course the destructive alternative. I believe that right now the need for love and acceptance is most obviously expressed in our social media. And I mentioned earlier in the side note, "why do you and I feel the need to tell each other that we are tired?" and that is for sympathy, or maybe conversation starter and filler. It's a pet peeve of mine that I habitually do myself, and I groan inside every time. : ]
-"Hey, how are you?"
-"Tired(internal groan)"
But I also stated that I don't think that social media is really the right venue to seek and find love and acceptance. Or at least not the main source. In the sense that I believe it is much better to be social in "reality". Don't you agree? So I charge you with this...
Give a hug today and seek to fulfill each other's need for love and acceptance and sympathy face to face. In person. And share the wonder of a God that created us is a really beautiful way with this need to relate and friends and family and ultimately Himself to satisfy them.
Peace.
