Hey everybody, I bet your weather is warmer than mine. Current temperature in Sioux Center, Iowa is 0 degrees F as of 11am Jan. 30! But that is actually somewhere in the middle of what it usually is. Sunday Morning it was -25 walking the 2 blocks to church.
Anyway, my options are bisically choosing between go on off campus study to Australia next spring, or I could continue through the applicaiton process of becoming a resident assistent. Now there are perks to either of these choices. I have a better chance of getting accepted for off campus study because pretty much any one can go if they meet the requirements, which I think I do, but applying to be an RA there are 36 positions and about 100 people applying for them. If I don't do off campus study this next year then I could possibly do it my senior year, but same with being an RA. If I am accepted for the RA position I will recieve free room/ and board + $1300 in work sudy money. So finacially it is sweet. But if I do not do off campus study this year then I would have to do it in the fall of my senior year, and if i did it then it would lessen my chances of getting into the Concert Choir which is the best choir on campus. The director is pretty picky about being committed to the whole year. On top of the amazginess of being a part of that choir there is a Tour to Europe the summer after my senior year for those that are in concert choir that year. Also I don't know if I would be finacially afford going on off campus study as well as speding a couple G's on the tour to Europe.
So all this to say I am leaning toward going through the application process for being an RA and let God decide the outcome of being an RA or doing off campus study. Oh, yeah being an RA is a year long commitment and that's why I can't do both. But yeah I am hoping that I can do everything that I want to.
I should also mention in response to your questions about if I am staying here or coming home...well as of right now I am going to stay here at Dordt unless God pulls something drastic and changes my mind. I would really appreciate your prayers for guidence in general and for encouragement.
Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave your thoughts/ advice.
-Joel
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
Frustration
Today is Friday Jan. 26 and I am really tired of the food here. My stomach is growling and I am really hungry. Problem...the food here seems to be getting progressively worse. But that is not what I am really frustrated about. My homework due today consisted of a 2-3 page response to a chapter I read for my Ed Psych class. I also had an assignment to observe a child and parent for a couple minutes and there was a one page response on that as well. Anyway, that was not exactly a heavy load of homework... the problem is that I just put them off until this morning and I got both of them done and i actually think I wrote a pretty good paper for Ed Psych, but I really should have done both assignments last night. The thing I am frustrated with is the fact that I feel like I am really unorganized. I only did a half hearted work out last night and I really want to get into shape, and I am trying to eat well but some days I just don't care. Last night after my lame work out I was watching some intramural basketball games and I was frustrated again with being out of shape.
My room is messy and I just seem to have higher priorities than to clean it. "Higher Priorities" like xbox, or watching a movie. That is ridiculous! I am also frustrated because I got my tonsils removed over Christmas Break and the doctor said that I would not be sick near as much and I would breathe much better and all this stuff, and now I am sick! Now I know I am not immune to sickness now that my tonsils are gone, but just this morning I kinda missed my tonsils. This sounds dumb but I am starting to think that getting my tonsils removed was not worth it. This is a random thought but I think the show LOST is sweet even though I have only seen the first season. Just trust me... there was a connection between my tonsils and LOST.
Anyway, my watching the basketball games and getting in shape naturally lead me to think about relationships and how focused we are on the physical and what is pleasing to the eye. I watched the movie The Village recently and I think that it is now in my top 10 movies for sure. The ending is amazing and the story line is sweet, but the best part of the movie is this relationship between a boy that is somewhat timid and a blind girl. The relationship is so pure and genuine and little if any at all of it is based on physical attraction, but rather an attraction to character and personality. I remember saying to myself that I could totally see myself marrying a blind girl for the simple reason that she would love me for my personality and not how I look. It was such an interesting perspective to see how things "look" from a blind person's point of view. Yes ladies and gents there it is, the soft side of Joel Pilon. But the more we put this generalization that men are not romantic and do not have the desire to be wanted by a woman the more I realize it is NOT TRUE! I want companionship! Can I get an amen? So that's about it for now, and i shall post sometime soon again.
Comment as you like,
-Joel
My room is messy and I just seem to have higher priorities than to clean it. "Higher Priorities" like xbox, or watching a movie. That is ridiculous! I am also frustrated because I got my tonsils removed over Christmas Break and the doctor said that I would not be sick near as much and I would breathe much better and all this stuff, and now I am sick! Now I know I am not immune to sickness now that my tonsils are gone, but just this morning I kinda missed my tonsils. This sounds dumb but I am starting to think that getting my tonsils removed was not worth it. This is a random thought but I think the show LOST is sweet even though I have only seen the first season. Just trust me... there was a connection between my tonsils and LOST.
Anyway, my watching the basketball games and getting in shape naturally lead me to think about relationships and how focused we are on the physical and what is pleasing to the eye. I watched the movie The Village recently and I think that it is now in my top 10 movies for sure. The ending is amazing and the story line is sweet, but the best part of the movie is this relationship between a boy that is somewhat timid and a blind girl. The relationship is so pure and genuine and little if any at all of it is based on physical attraction, but rather an attraction to character and personality. I remember saying to myself that I could totally see myself marrying a blind girl for the simple reason that she would love me for my personality and not how I look. It was such an interesting perspective to see how things "look" from a blind person's point of view. Yes ladies and gents there it is, the soft side of Joel Pilon. But the more we put this generalization that men are not romantic and do not have the desire to be wanted by a woman the more I realize it is NOT TRUE! I want companionship! Can I get an amen? So that's about it for now, and i shall post sometime soon again.
Comment as you like,
-Joel
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
2 days after my Tosilectomy
Tonsils removed December 26
(I wrote this 2 days later)
I think there is something to be learned in every circumstance in life. I am at college group tonight and now that I cannot speak very well and especially can't sing because of my surgery. I am realizing how worship and living is so much more than what we can say or sing. What are our actions saying/singing? Do they send the same message that we might be trying to send with out words? Mine are not.
What needs to change and how does it need to change?
-Genuine-->Reflecting Christ
-Humility--> For the right reasons,not for praise
-Know your stuff because you really know it and not repeating what you have heard
-What are you dependent on?
-->Friends, Acceptance?
-Be dependent on being real-->#1 priority should be to be who you really are/ who God wants you to be as a Christ follower.
I read this again today(01/23/07) now that I am at school, and it seemed like some good thoughts. I really do not liek being dependent on someone else. I don't like working in group projects and if their is a task of any sort to be done, and I can do it myself, then I by far prefer to do it myself. I am at times what would seem to be a recluse here at school, but my reasoning came from sometime during my freshmen year when I decided I was not going to be the leader/initiator of my friendships here and see what happens. I think this is partly why my freshmen year was a rough go. Honestly it is a "duh" that every relationship goes two ways, but I just wanted acceptence and not by me forcing myself on people. I really enjoy being somewhat of a leader in my group of friends back home...I think I just wanted to feel like people really did want to know me and feel like I have something to offer. I don't really know how successful I have been at taking the follower role, but this could contribute to my friends here being not as close as at home.
I do not want to be dependent on someone else, but I want others to be dependent on me. I have something to offer, and am worthy of a good friendship aren't I? I think this thought goes through everyone's head in some shape or form at some point in their life.
comment at will...
(I wrote this 2 days later)
I think there is something to be learned in every circumstance in life. I am at college group tonight and now that I cannot speak very well and especially can't sing because of my surgery. I am realizing how worship and living is so much more than what we can say or sing. What are our actions saying/singing? Do they send the same message that we might be trying to send with out words? Mine are not.
What needs to change and how does it need to change?
-Genuine-->Reflecting Christ
-Humility--> For the right reasons,not for praise
-Know your stuff because you really know it and not repeating what you have heard
-What are you dependent on?
-->Friends, Acceptance?
-Be dependent on being real-->#1 priority should be to be who you really are/ who God wants you to be as a Christ follower.
I read this again today(01/23/07) now that I am at school, and it seemed like some good thoughts. I really do not liek being dependent on someone else. I don't like working in group projects and if their is a task of any sort to be done, and I can do it myself, then I by far prefer to do it myself. I am at times what would seem to be a recluse here at school, but my reasoning came from sometime during my freshmen year when I decided I was not going to be the leader/initiator of my friendships here and see what happens. I think this is partly why my freshmen year was a rough go. Honestly it is a "duh" that every relationship goes two ways, but I just wanted acceptence and not by me forcing myself on people. I really enjoy being somewhat of a leader in my group of friends back home...I think I just wanted to feel like people really did want to know me and feel like I have something to offer. I don't really know how successful I have been at taking the follower role, but this could contribute to my friends here being not as close as at home.
I do not want to be dependent on someone else, but I want others to be dependent on me. I have something to offer, and am worthy of a good friendship aren't I? I think this thought goes through everyone's head in some shape or form at some point in their life.
comment at will...
Monday, January 22, 2007
Thoughts
Christmas break this year was really good for me. I was able to spend a fare amount of time with the people that I really wanted to, as well as work for my Northshore(church) for a couple weeks. While I have been here at college I have never been comfortable with the amount of debt that I am accumulating. Over break this was on my mind and I have been wrestling with the idea of whether I should stay here at college or if I should look to going somewhere cheaper and maybe closer to home.
From my experience living here in Iowa for a year and some change I have realized that I am not a big fan of the weather, but I do enjoy my classes. I have some close friends but mostly acquaintances, and it is really hard not to compare my friends here to my friends at home.(Seattle area) There are all kinds of small reasons for my wanting to return to the Seattle area, but I cannot help but come back to the biggest issue of debt. So I am still weighing my options and what is my wisest decision. Also a big motivating factor for leaving here is that I still have a strong desire to be involved in missions, and with a substantial amount of debt it will be really hard to do missions any time in the near future.
Thinking through all these issues has been really beneficial spiritually. It is causing me to see how much more dependent on the people around me and God. I guess the dependency issue also came up with my tonsils being removed. Especially on the Thursday after my surgery I was at college group and for the first time since I can remember I was unable to sing along with worship, and I was unable to drive myself to college group itself, and began to realize me dependency on my friends and especially my Mom to help me. To continue on the singing side of things I was discouraged with not being able to sing, and I found myself having to find other ways to worship. This led to me to see what God was teaching through my thoughts and devotions instead of my sing and making music.
From my experience living here in Iowa for a year and some change I have realized that I am not a big fan of the weather, but I do enjoy my classes. I have some close friends but mostly acquaintances, and it is really hard not to compare my friends here to my friends at home.(Seattle area) There are all kinds of small reasons for my wanting to return to the Seattle area, but I cannot help but come back to the biggest issue of debt. So I am still weighing my options and what is my wisest decision. Also a big motivating factor for leaving here is that I still have a strong desire to be involved in missions, and with a substantial amount of debt it will be really hard to do missions any time in the near future.
Thinking through all these issues has been really beneficial spiritually. It is causing me to see how much more dependent on the people around me and God. I guess the dependency issue also came up with my tonsils being removed. Especially on the Thursday after my surgery I was at college group and for the first time since I can remember I was unable to sing along with worship, and I was unable to drive myself to college group itself, and began to realize me dependency on my friends and especially my Mom to help me. To continue on the singing side of things I was discouraged with not being able to sing, and I found myself having to find other ways to worship. This led to me to see what God was teaching through my thoughts and devotions instead of my sing and making music.
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