Tonsils removed December 26
(I wrote this 2 days later)
I think there is something to be learned in every circumstance in life. I am at college group tonight and now that I cannot speak very well and especially can't sing because of my surgery. I am realizing how worship and living is so much more than what we can say or sing. What are our actions saying/singing? Do they send the same message that we might be trying to send with out words? Mine are not.
What needs to change and how does it need to change?
-Genuine-->Reflecting Christ
-Humility--> For the right reasons,not for praise
-Know your stuff because you really know it and not repeating what you have heard
-What are you dependent on?
-->Friends, Acceptance?
-Be dependent on being real-->#1 priority should be to be who you really are/ who God wants you to be as a Christ follower.
I read this again today(01/23/07) now that I am at school, and it seemed like some good thoughts. I really do not liek being dependent on someone else. I don't like working in group projects and if their is a task of any sort to be done, and I can do it myself, then I by far prefer to do it myself. I am at times what would seem to be a recluse here at school, but my reasoning came from sometime during my freshmen year when I decided I was not going to be the leader/initiator of my friendships here and see what happens. I think this is partly why my freshmen year was a rough go. Honestly it is a "duh" that every relationship goes two ways, but I just wanted acceptence and not by me forcing myself on people. I really enjoy being somewhat of a leader in my group of friends back home...I think I just wanted to feel like people really did want to know me and feel like I have something to offer. I don't really know how successful I have been at taking the follower role, but this could contribute to my friends here being not as close as at home.
I do not want to be dependent on someone else, but I want others to be dependent on me. I have something to offer, and am worthy of a good friendship aren't I? I think this thought goes through everyone's head in some shape or form at some point in their life.
comment at will...
1 comment:
Joel, you are amazing as you are willing to be real and vulnerable. God has blessed you, given you a depth to your thinking that blows my mind. I can identify with this living life without passion - just getting by. That is why my goal this year is to live with deliberation and intention. Don't just let life happen. I love you at lot. Mom
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