The week before this past week the campus here at Dordt had a capus wide 24/7 prayer. Students and faculty(1 prof) signed up for hour lond sections of time for an entire week of prayer...all through the day and all through the night. All the 1 hour slots were filled and there was prayer on Dordt's capus for 7 days straight. We had a meeting on the Monday night after the week of prayer to debrief and have some worship. Not very many people came just because it was inconvenient or forgot or whatever, but my Resident Director said something that night that I have been meditating on ever since. "If we love God with everything that is in us, then God cannont resist us. He is a lover and love that pure and genuine is irresistable."

God loves us. The meaning has been drained from this phrase for the many times it is used and heard. But if we take time to elaborate on this phrase it has new life.

God loves your voice. The tone, the quality, he created it to be just that way. He loves those things about us that we completely despise and whish we could change. God loves the color of your eyes and hair and your smile. God loves to see us happy. We are who we are because God created us this way. I frequnetly think that God is not close.

2 Samuel 22:7-20

"In my distress I called to the LORD; I called out to my God. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came to his ears. The earth trembled and quaked, the foundations of the heavens [c] shook; they trembled because he was angry. Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it. He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet. He mounted the cherubim and flew; he soared [d] on the wings of the wind. He made darkness his canopy around him— the dark [e] rain clouds of the sky. Out of the brightness of his presence bolts of lightning blazed forth. The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded. He shot arrows and scattered the enemies , bolts of lightning and routed them. The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare at the rebuke of the LORD, at the blast of breath from his nostrils. He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me."

Desire....or lack of it.

Happy Cinco de Mayo! Today is my sister in law's birthday. Yay to her for turning 20. Right now I am in the library of my school at 6:30 on a Saturday night, thinking about the massive amounts of work I have to do before I leave for home this Friday.

-Read "Affluenza" (150 pages)- Then write 6-8 page page paper due wednesday
-Read "Poisonwood Bible"(500+ pages)- Then write monologue on book for presentation on Thursday. Then write 2 page creative writing on book.
-complete 3 essay questions on take home portion of exam for Monday, then go to finish the rest of the final exam on Monday afternoon.
-Moday Morning sing 5 songs memorized for voice lesson final exam including memorizing an Italian piece before then.
-Study for 2 exams on Tuesday morning.

Despite my list of rediculousness I still find time to do other less importan things, and now I have reached the point of being crippled by the amount of work I have to do that I just don't do anything. I just sit, or just walk around. It's horrible. I Just think about this week being over and flying hom eon Friday to see friends and family and a change of pace.

Lord help me.

God is a Genius

In one of my classes today we were discussing if life was completely horrible or if life is good and reasons and effects to why. My prof said, "Life has to be good! When I sit on my back porch and smoke a cigar and watch the sunset as my kids play on the slide in the yard, life is good. It's about perspective."

I agree. Life is good, but that is becuase I am choosing it to be that way. There are many things that I could point out that really suck in my life...seizures, overweight, in Iowa, behind in school, lame roommate, broken by sin daily. Why would I want to focus on those things?

I love my life. I love the people in my life. (no I am not on drugs, and shame on you for thinking such things.) I love my God. I love that fact that he is God, and he a genius for creating things to be as they are. Life is beautiful.

I think that we have too high of expectations...in a way. Another thing my prof said today was that American Culture is so very very violent. Violence seems to trigger images of blood and gore, but violence involves so much more. The abuse of power in any situation is violence. The expectations we have for eachother and ourselves become violent when they are self centered and we expect the world to revolve around us. It causes our actions and words to be violent.

I noticed that every paragraph in this post starts with "I". It's not about me.Simplify your life and take the focus off yourself. Sunday night my Resident Director for the building spoke about 3 R's that a Christian community should identify with. WE should be a community marked by Rest, Risk and Reverence/gratititude.

So these are my tandom thoughts for today ask questions if you want. Talk to you soon.

-Pil