Galatians 1:10

As you can see from the picture above, I have cut my hair. Boy have I ever. I knew it would be short, but it is just one of those things where I had to get used to the lack of hair and how much more my haircut accentuated the roundness and size of my head.

In other news, I went to a presbyterian church service with a family of one of the guys that Jos (my host Dad) works with. His Name is Scott and he has a wife and 3 very energetic adn precocious kids. The service was really good. I was able to sit next to a translator and it was nice to see the differences between this service and that of the Christian Reformed Church that I have been attending with Jos. We had a very good lunch with "make your own sunday" for dessert. So good. Then spent the afternoon talking and playing with the kids. Honestly the conversation I had with Scott and his wife was a huge help to so many things that have been on my mind.

Being a 3rd year student nearing the end of the year, it has come around to one of those times I have been rethinking again as to what I am doing at Dordt and why I am studying Theology and what is to become of me after I graduate and so on and so on. This has been the kind of thing that's been running through my head for the past couple months already and these periods have become a common biannual occurrence since I have been in college. As a result I have had the chance to have dinner with 3 different missionary couples since I have been to Kiev and naturally this the these topics naturally weave their way into the conversation when I am asked, "So what is your major? How do you like your school? What are your plans for after college?" Typical questions, and I do not resent them at all. These conversations time after time have been some of the most valuable parts of my visit to Kiev because I am wrestling this stuff in my head.

Today was so good for the simple reason that Scott understood my perspective and the kinds of things I have been wrestling with better than anyone I can think of in the past 3 years of college. In light of all of what we talked about, as usual I was understanding more and more about perspective, but something that kept running through my head was this verse...I had to look up the reference...

Galatians 1:10

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."

So I have all these questions about what I am supposed to do from here on out, and I honestly have some ideas I would love to pursue. All my life I have been so concerned about how others perceive me, and when I consider going for more school or an occupation or ministry I am interested in, my first reaction is that there are people who do not think I am cut out for that. There are people who will think I am not capable or do not have the ability to accomplish that...and often I move on and those ideas and possibilities left in a part of my brain that I have gone back to time and time again. It is a wonderful place where I dream of about a future that is not inhibited by money or the perceptions of others. It is a place where, if I stay there long enough, I believe that I am capable and desire it enough to accomplish this kind of future..........until doubts and assumptions of what others think sets in. My conversation with Scott was so valuable to me for the following reasons. We had been talking for a couple of hours already and I was explaining this process of what I love to do and how I would want to incorporate what I am passionate about into my work, and explaining my questioning why I am studying Theology and how does this translate to what I am doing after I graduate. Scott responded with an observation. "Over the course of this whole conversation in talking about what's going on for you and what you have been wrestling with, there has been one point where I saw a spark. I saw something you were passionate about and where you were genuinely enthusiastic about what you were talking about............and that was when you talked about music. When you play music, when you sing, when you listen to it."

I had met Scott just a couple times in passing before this, and before this conversation he really did not know a lot about who Joel Pilon is. I have always loved music. Scott explained something that one of his teachers in college had talked to him about. Consider where you are headed, what you are studying and what you love to do. Determine possiblities for your future--work, family, whatever. And then narrow it down. What is the one thing you love doing that if you came off of a long flight and you were jet lagged and tired and absolutely drained, you would still do this one thing because it is what you love.

Music.

I know this is going to seem cheesy and not mean that much to some of you, but whatever. The last 2 nights I watched the first and second halves of the movie Braveheart. Some of you know where i am going, and if you have yet to see this movie, I do not care what you have heard, it is applicable to everyone. It is worth your time. So I was watching Braveheart and it is just one of those movies that never gets old. the lines never lose meaning and they seem to never cease to inspire. In light of the conversation I had with Scott, I was watching the last part of the film last night, and there was one line that stood out.

"Of course all men die, but not every man truly lives."

It is just one of those films that make you feel like you could go run a marathon when the credits roll. Anyway more thoughts to come, but I will end it here for now.

Joel