Soli Deo Gloria.

This Latin phrase is the proclamation of Dordt College."To God alone be the glory." It has always been something that the President would end his speeches for graduation and convocation and any other chance he had the opportunity to say it. As with anything that is repeated, it can become old and lose meaning. I never really appreciated this phrase while I attended the college, and it really is bizarre how I came to appreciate it today.

Since yesterday I have been in one of those moods, the kind where I get in this funk of feeling a little down and a little "woe is me" syndrome. I don't particularly enjoy it, and at first I was worried I was getting sick. Even as I write this I am feeling a little bit of vertigo. But I think there is something else that is contributing to my woeful feelings. I have never struggled to find things in my life that I am not pleased with. I have recently prayed that the Holy Spirit's voice be very clear to me, and specifically giving me an awareness of my sin. Simply put, guilt. It terrifies me think I could possibly become ignorant of the sin in my life and do not feel guilt for my actions! Please, no!

So today I woke up in my funk and considering the ways that I am just coasting. Watching films is one way that often convicts me and gets me to process how I am living my life. Sometimes it's inspirational and other times discouraging. But today I was listening to some music by Lecrae and I had one of those inspirational moments.


"while Im here livin man I gotta ask why
what am here fo I gotta figure out
waste my life/ no I gotta make it count
if Christ is real.
Paul said if Christ aint resurrect then we wasted our lives
well that implies that our life's built around Jesus being alive
everyday I'm living tryin show the world why
Christ is more than everything you'll ever try
We created for Him outta the dust he made us for Him
Elects us and he saves us for Him Jesus comes and raises for Him
Magnify the Father why bother with something lesser
he made us so we could bless Him and to the world we confess him
resurrects him so I know I got life matter fact better man I know I got Christ
if you don't' see His ways in my days and nights
you can hit my brakes you can stop my lights
man I lost my rights I lost my life
the cost is Christ
and they could never offer me anything on the planet that'll cost that price

Here are my gifts and time cause I'm constantly trying to be used to praise the Christ
If he's truly raised to life then this news should change your life
and by his grace you can put your faith in place that rules your days and nights"

Surely there are people that are thinking "rap? really? come on Joel, I thought you were more of music snob than that?" Nope. At least not for this rap. The point is that I am encouraged by the truth in these words.

My hope is that I am willing to sacrifice anything for the sake of the gospel. But words come so easy. Talk is cheap. Right? Absolutely right.

So I think the last 24 hours have been a gut check. Maybe it is the Holy Spirit maintaining my awareness of how incompetent I am. Because I know that when I acknowledge my short comings, it leads me crawling back to the cross. Jesus I have nailed you there once again,I am so wretched, I love your law for makes me aware of my need for the grace and forgiveness that you can give. Do not let me abuse what you have given to me. "what wondrous love is this, oh my soul? That cause the Lord of bliss to bear the dreadful curse for my soul." Gaaaaaaah! There is such a disconnect from my words to my actions.

The song posted on my blog right now is a Hillsong that speaks the same message. I will post the lyrics in my next post.
Stay hungry!