I have missed out.

This past week we had Thursday and Friday without classes. Finally a nice break to...(jump ahead to Sunday night)...What did I do this weekend.

Maybe something like this...

Sleep in.
Think about catching up on reading.
Think about the homework I have to do.
Trip to grocery store(x3)
Realize that I foolishly stayed at Dordt for the break.
Realize how this has put me in the position so either do the dreaded things on my to do list or to only get as far as to just dread them.
Good intentions.
Good intentions.
Good intentions.
Failed attempt at taking a break.

I have decided that doing much of nothing does not satisfy the hunger and need for a change of pace, a break and time away.

The one good thing I did this weekend was go to church with a friend and then eat with his family for a nice home cooked Sunday dinner. And I suppose there are a few other reasonable things about this weekend, but now that it has come and gone I feel like I have missed out. I had the time and space, but there was no desired outcome.

Tonight I said to my roommate, "I quit."

I quit. I desire to demand of myself that because my appetite for a break has not been satisfied then I will not go to class, I will not do my homework and I will not...

No. Sadly, no. Responsibility, external expectations, other people...it all requires more.

Sometimes words just don't do the trick. Come inside my brain, come and understand my thinking and my perspective...

See what I mean? Do you see what I'm getting at? Yeah, sometimes words do not do the trick.